Invader Yami 001 The Tallest's Favorite Invader
by ButtercupSamurai
Summary: 1st story in the Invader Yami trilogy period XD. 4thCHAPTER What does Yami do that makes Zim and Dib embarassed at the same time? Language caution! Reviews welcome. :D
1. The Doomed Hat of Confusion

Ok, a fanfic for Invader Zim. After reading Ozzeh's fanfic, I'm well inspired to do one myself.  
  
Invader Zim © of Jhonen Vasquez. Oh sure, like it would be me.  
  
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In the Irken planet, the Tallest were picking out new invaders again. Some were too small for the job and literally got kicked out. Few got chosen as invaders and they waited in chairs. The purple Tallest was twitching as he looks away from the Irken they're inspection to the entrance. Then twitches some more. The pink Tallest notices and makes a serious look on his face.  
  
"Hey....HEY!!" he yelled.  
  
The purple Tallest blinked, stopped twitching and looked at the pink Tallest unworried.  
  
"Woops! Sorry. Waiting for Yami to come. She is a very good canididate to being an invader, eh?" the purple Tallest answered.  
  
"Yes, she is. You gave her an invitation, right?"  
  
"Uh.....no."  
  
"Y-YOU IDIOT! SHE ISN'T GOING TO COME! HEY.......YOU!!"  
  
The pink tallest points at a random Irken-to-be-invader.  
  
"My name is not 'you'. It is Snot." the fat Irken corrected.  
  
"YA YA, WHATEVER! GO OUT OF HERE AND LOOK FOR A GIRL WITH A HAT THAT SAYS.....SAYS. Uh, what was on her hat, Tallest?" the pink tallest asked his purple twin.  
  
"It says "PVD". I have no idea what that means...." the purple tallest answered.  
  
"WHICH SAYS PVD!! NOW GO FIND HER!!!!!! THIS IS TALLEST ORDER!!"  
  
"Yes, my tallest." Snot answered and ran out with his stubby legs out the entrance as fast as he could.  
  
An irken with a light blue hat with a red 'PVD' stitched to it, a dark blue dress, black boots and normal irken eyes with thick eyelashes walks on a specialized land-escalator while reading a book called The Mysteries of the Tallest Revealed. Snot appears in an escalator next to the girl Irken's. When he sees the hat, he jumps over one and runs towards the Irken girl.  
  
She looks away from her book and stares at Snot's face.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" she asks.  
  
"Are you Yami?" Snot requests.  
  
"Why yes I am Yami. Why do you ask, bastard?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I called you a bastard. Tell me your name."  
  
"Snot. Invader Snot."  
  
"Wait....Invader? Holy crap!! Why were you sent to ME?"  
  
"The tallest asked me to invite you to the Invader Convention. I'm not sure if it will be too late. Come with me there since the Tallest want you to be an invader."  
  
"I shall go. As I want to be Invader......"  
  
"Ok, lets hurry!"  
  
As soon as Snot grabs Yami's hand (who is in disgust), they run straight to the entrance. 


	2. The Tallest's Favorite Departs

Invader Snot and a shocked Yami rushed into the Invader Convention, ramming Irkens out of their way. When they finally made it to the stage, the almighty Tallest cheered:  
  
"YES!! YAMI, YOU'RE NOT LATE!! YAAAAAAY!!"  
  
"Ok, fine whatever." Yami grumbled.  
  
"Now you are officially Invader Yami!" Red announced happily.  
  
"Yes, yes. Hurrah. I need a SIR."  
  
"Here's a special one just for you!" Purple said joyfully.  
  
"Hopefully it isn't too special..."  
  
Red got a SIR from a cardboard box, gave it to Purple, grinning, and Purple gave it to Yami, who is very, VERY serious. The SIR is metallic blue and once it opened it's eyes, they glowed a flouresent, neon blue.  
  
"Heya, hey hey HEY!" the SIR greeted Yami.  
  
"Heya." Yami greeted back,"I shall call you.......uh...IRK!!!  
  
"Whoooohoo!!" IRK shrieked.  
  
"Now you need a....." Red began.  
  
"Already got a ship, my red tallest." Yami informed as she stepped into her ship, carrying IRK in her arms, "I'm begining to think that you think of me as....your favorite invader."  
  
"Oh, yes you are!" the Tallest sang,"More smarter than Zim!"  
  
"Damn...well you'll soon see me ruling Earth like any other invader would ever rule a planet and that....what was his name?" Yami asked abruptly.  
  
"Zim, ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!" Purple screamed, waving his arms in the air.  
  
"Yes, Zim." Yami mumbled,"Anyways, he shall be annihilated and I WILL BE THE GREATEST INVADER OF ALL IRKENS!!!!"  
  
And when the ship began to float, Yami and IRK were off, flying at the speed of light, onward to planet Earth. 


	3. The Doomed Arrival On Earth

A synthetic-looking Earth model sits in front of the new Invader Yami, who seems bored and unemotional. IRK stares at her new master for a moment and then leaps onto her.  
  
"IRK!! What the heck are you doing? Can't you see that I am busy at this moment?" Yami grumbled to IRK as she spun the Earth model around.  
  
"Whoops! Sowwie..." IRK apologized. Her eyes turned fluorescent pink at this moment.  
  
"Huh? IRK! What is happening to your eyes?! IRK..."  
  
IRK started to cry literally salted nuts. Irken almonds always driven Yami insane. Yami started to screech as the nuts shot towards her.  
  
"IRK!!" Yami cried.  
  
IRK stopped crying nuts and sniffed. Her metallic face shows a depressed emotion.  
  
"Look!! I was cranky! Do you know the meaning of cranky, IRK?" Yami asked seriously.  
  
"Noperz." IRK answered.  
  
"It means that you very angry from no sleep for a long period of time..." Yami started.  
  
"Then you need GOOOOOOOOOOD sleep!" IRK yelled cheerfully and pulled Yami by her hat.  
  
"NO!! NOOOOOOO IRK!!!" Yami screeched as she got pulled into the cockpit.  
  
It is very virtual to Zim's cockpit on his Vista Cruiser, except on Yami's Alpha Cruiser Infinity, it is more technologically advanced and subtler greens and monochromic colors. Yami got pushed into a spinney chair, as IRK went back out of the cockpit. Of course as usual, Yami is disgusted, and yet shocked at the same time. When IRK rushed back into the cockpit, she carrying cans of one of the many substances of Irken Coke, Chocolate-flavored. She opened one can, absent-mindedly put the coke tab in the drink and shoved it into Yami's mouth. Yami choked and choked.  
  
"Oh no! Master!" IRK cried and punched Yami's back non-stop.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!!! MY SPINE!!" Yami screeched in pain.  
  
Then the soda tap finally shot out of Yami's mouth after Yami endured the torture of IRK. IRK dropped down to the ground to eat the tab.  
  
"Yummy! Oh, I'm sowwie, SO SOWWIE!!!" IRK apologized continuously.  
  
"Holy cheese!! It's all right, IRK! I forgive you!" Yami coughed,"Besides, we can't chatter about a petty little accident. Now, WE ARE LANDIN'!!  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAY!!" IRK cheered.  
  
Suddenly, the cruiser crash-lands in the middle of a random suburb. Yami holds on to IRK and barely makes an escape from her now crashed Alpha Cruiser Infinity.  
  
---SCENE CHANGE: Zim's Laboratory Thingy XD---  
  
Zim is now looking into his newly improved telescope so that it can look even further into space, even into the Tallest's bathroom. He is now watching Invader Spleen who has just taken over the Planet of Stupidity. Zim stares in grief, as it has been too many months since he landed on Earth and he still didn't complete his invasion. Suddenly, he heard a thump from outside and he collapsed to the floor in surprise.  
  
"What the hell...?" Zim stuttered as he got onto his feet,"GIR!!"  
  
Quickly, GIR runs into the room like an idiot as usual and glomped Zim.  
  
"YAY!!" GIR cheered.  
  
"GAAAAAAAHHHH!!! MY SQUIGGLYSPOOOOOOOCH!!" Zim cried,"GIR!"  
  
"Yes sir." GIR obeyed, as his eyes are red in determination.  
  
"Go find out what's happening outside." Zim ordered.  
  
"Okie dokey!" GIR yelled in joy and ran out of the room as Zim began to run out himself.  
  
---SCENE CHANGE: Zim's front yard---  
  
Yami observed the yard and IRK is drawing the whole compound of Zim's.  
  
"This is definitely Zim's home base." Yami announced,"Are you done IRK?"  
  
"Hold on.........DONE!! IRK answered proudly and gave it to Yami who scanned it quickly. Her eyes grew wide.  
  
"This is pretty, compared to any blueprints I have seen in Irken books." Yami said happily,"I should make you a cake someday to repay for this."  
  
"YAYA!!" IRK cheered.  
  
Now GIR looked out the window in his disguise and then yelled.  
  
"That must be Zim's SIR." Yami said to IRK,"In a very stupid disguise..."  
  
"Yea!" IRK whispered.  
  
Yami looked straight at the door angrily, anticipating the arrival of seeing Zim. Suddenly, Zim jumps out the door, in his disguise. Then he made a quick somersault towards the angry Yami. Then he stood, gawking at Yami.  
  
"Who the heck are you?" Zim yelled angrily.  
  
"I am Invader Yami and I am here to ki.... uhm HELP you in your mission." Yami stuttered.  
  
"Why did the Tallest sent YOU to help ME?" Zim asked.  
  
"They should tell you that, Zim." Yami shouted,"Besides, you're too selfish and ignorant. Why is it taking you so long to conquer this planet? Other invader, even dumberer than you finished THEIR missions!" Yami debated as she gritted her Irken teeth.  
  
"I KNOW THAT, Y-YAMI!! These stupid, filthy, wormbaby humans are in my WAY! Some are just plain annoying!!" Zim argued.  
  
"Whatever. I have no time to argue with YOU. Tomorrow you shall see my beautiful hat again and I will recruit some of your annoying human 'friends' in order to rule this planet. AND the almighty Tallest ordered me, Invader Yami to ANIHILATE YOU! Goodnight Zim and your so-called SIR." Yami declared as she picked up IRK.  
  
Zim, frustrated, shouted: "KILL ME? MEH!?!?!? I AM THE ZIM!! ZIIIIM!! Oh come on. NO ONE CAN KILL THE ZIM!! And you told me your plan to MY advantage. BAD night to you, Yami and your stupid SIR!"  
  
They ran away from each other, opposite ways. Zim and GIR ran into their house and Zim slammed the door. Yami carried IRK and ran to Dib's house [they do not know this. MORE SUSPENSE!! XD]. Then climbed into an open basement window, dropped into an empty box under a staircase that is big enough to fit the both of them and settled in it.  
  
"We'll get our homebase soon, IRK." Yami whispered,"Just not now. I'm going to locate an area with a human helpful to us, no. I sense of GREAT help in THIS house. I can really FEEL it! We'll find a location NEAR this house."  
  
"Kewl." IRK agreed.  
  
"Now we need disguises like Zim and that so-called SIR. I shall get yours now." Yami planned.  
  
She took out a child's costume from her PAK and gave it to IRK. It has bright blue eyes, black hair in pigtails, brown skin and a pink dress stitched to it [it's sorta an underwear. but looks like a dress.]. IRK zipped it on and modeled in front of Yami. She nodded, grinning. Now, she took out a larger costume that has brown skin, dark green contacts stitched to it, and medium length black hair. She twirled her finger at IRK and she turned around. Yami quickly took off her suit and other accessories and zipped her disguise up. Then she put her suit back on and carefully fitted her hat to her head. She patted IRK's back and IRK immediately turned around. She stared at Yami in awe.  
  
"Aw, you look so purty, master." IRK squealed.  
  
"Thanks IRKy-poo." Yami whispered happily,"Also call me Yami instead of 'master'. It drives me insane, like those.... Irken nuts."  
  
IRK stared at Yami, surprised at the sudden respect she got. Suddenly, she hugged Yami, smiling smuggly. Yami patted IRK's back once again.  
  
"You're welcome. Now let's rest. You can get some fresh air and explore Zim's house tomorrow. I'm going somewhere to get revenge on Zim." Yami whispered happily, grinning her usual grin.  
  
"Goodnight...Yami." IRK whispered.  
  
"Goodnight, IRKy-poo." Yami whispered back and they went fast asleep.  
  
B*S: Finally the end. I had SO much time for the rough draft from skool. Now you can see IRK and Yami are getting closer, like sisters. This will definitely help in their mission. Oooh! But what will happen next? REVIEWZ!!! XD WTF is wrong with me? 


	4. The Sickness That Is Skool

Now, its about time Yami is going to the skool. But what happens there, making Zim seem.... Embarrassed? It's time to rumble!! More reviews.... MORE!!  
  
-B*S  
  
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"Children, we are celebrating the overpopulation of the skool with another new student." Ms. Bitters screeched her normal voice.   
  
Yami in disguise stood next to Ms. Bitters, grinning evilly, staring at Zim. Zim looks shocked at how good Yami's disguise looks. Not only does it have normal looking skin, it is like the perfect disguise except for the hat of course, which Zim despises.  
  
"This is Yami." Ms. Bitters introduced,"Now child, speak now."  
  
And she stepped back, waiting to get Yami into trouble.  
  
"Hello people." Yami greeted, she looks eerie and very vicious.  
  
The children started to get scared. Dib looked at her suspiciously; thinking this could be yet, another alien.  
  
"I see you all cringe in fear. Well, not to worry." Yami explained, still grinning,"Besides, I'm not this mean and malignant. I'm simply looking evil. I want you all to be afraid of me. Think of me as a god. You all are probably racists too, eh? Well, DO NOT SPEAK OF BLACK OR WHITE!!! THINK OF ME AS SIMPLY A FREAKN' GOD!! NOT JUST SOME SLAVE!!"  
  
Everyone's mouths are open, shocked at what Yami just shouted. Then suddenly, they applauded, and tricked by Yami's hidden plan. Zim stared; eyes blank and face flushing.  
  
'What the hell, how did she do this? How?' Zim's mind raced,'I mean, Dib-human is even praising her too! How could he? How? How!?!?'  
  
"That was quite.... interesting, Yami. Bells to my ear." Ms. Bitters mumbled, even she looked shocked,"Now, sit next to Zim so that I can see your evil face of doom"  
  
And the child who sat next to Zim disappeared. Zim is still shocked, but even more since now; Yami is going to sit next to him. Yami simply walked to the desk and sat in it. Ms. Bitters now started rambling about doom again. Yami stares at Zim, happily. He is still in shock. Dib now sees what is happening. Zim just sat there as stiff as a fucking boulder. Now Yami pushes Zim with her pinky and he falls down like a stick. Yami smiled and got her attention back to Ms. Bitters, carefully sinking in her thoughts on doom.  
  
"Your life will be doomed" Ms. Bitters ranted on,"Now, there are different people who can be doomed in specific ways. One major is mental illness. If you are normal, not screeching like an idiot or talking about Chickenfoot, you will be doomed. If you are just crazy, you will be doomed. If you are just plain insane, then you will be somewhat doomed. Lastly, the ultimate level of illnesses, mental. You know the non-existing creatures that do exist in our world and you try to prove they do exist. You rant about aliens existing...."  
  
"Like Dib", one student who is Zita shouted.  
  
"Well, lets just say, yes he is." Ms. Bitters responded,"As I was saying, they would be not doomed because they are already doomed right now."  
  
All of the students stared at Dib, who is nervous at this moment, but he struggles to not look like it. Yami just writes all of Ms. Bitters' rants on paper, with a pen she stole from another student. Then she draws her killing Zim, beaming. Zim notices her drawing and faints on his desk.   
  
---SCENE CHANGE - The Cafeteria ---  
  
Yami is standing in line with her tray. The lunch ladies slop the "food" on her tray. Yami looks at the food disgusted.  
  
"Excuse me, lunch ladies." Yami requested, "But is this really food. Now come on! This looks like slime that has been boiled and frozen in your grimy freezer for weeks!"  
  
The lunch ladies simply stare their angry gazes and slop even more "food" onto Yami's plate. Yami who now feels very sick, sets her tray next to Zim's tray. Zim looks up and notices her revolted face. Then Yami runs out of the cafeteria and throws up on the floor. Then she wipes her vomit off of her mouth and walks back in slowly. Zim sees Yami dragging herself towards her seat and sits there, not caring if she is seated next to Zim at all! She lays her head on the globs that are as hard as a marble ceiling, so her head is unaffected.  
  
"Hey...HEY!" Zim yells, slapping Yami's back.  
  
"Please, Zim. Really, stop." Yami grouched, "I feel so sick right now, I feel like I'm having a throw-up fiesta."  
  
"Sheesh, seriously Yami." Zim said with his zimmish accent, "Do you think I'm going to fall for your stupid plan?"  
  
"Dude, Zim I'm serious! Stop being so arrogant!" Yami attempted to shout, but she hacks and lays her head down still.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?"  
  
Dib just got his "lunch" and stopped at where Yami is remaining.  
  
"Lay off, Dib-stink!" Zim shouted his usual tone of voice.  
  
"I'm just curious." Dib replied.  
  
"Seriously I'M SICK HERE!!!" Yami shouted, "SHOUTING IS NOT GOING TO HELP ME YOU KNOW!"  
  
"Well, what are you gonna do?" Zim demanded.  
  
"I will embarrass you and Dib."  
  
"Hey, why me?" Dib asked.  
  
"Because you got involved, Dib. Now, it's time for me to try and stand." Yami answered.  
  
And Yami stands up quickly, grinning. Now she has her hands close to mouth for some loud mouthing.  
  
"ZIM AND DIB ARE GAAAAAAAY!!!" Yami yells obnoxiously, beaming at the students watching her. Everyone started laughing, even those stoned lunch ladies. Zim sat there confused.  
  
'What the fuck is gay?' Zim thinks rapidly.  
  
Dib stands there in stunned. He flushes quickly and his pupils thin. He drops his tray and runs out of the cafeteria.  
  
'How the heck does Yami know that I'm gay?' Dib thought rapidly (Yes, I do want Dib to be gay in this trilogy. I want him to be gay :D . Dib: HEY!! / Eheheheh...) as he rushes in the hallway.  
  
---SCENE CHANGE - Zim's Home Base XD ---  
  
IRK, happy and in her new disguise looks into the window of Zim's base. The lawn gnomes burned to the ground. GIR is rolling on the floor as usual. IRK stares at the idiotic SIR, watching his every move. Also downloading information about Zim's base too. The kitchen, what goes on in the television, what the computer does, and etcetera. Now GIR notices IRK and thinks of her as a little black girl from "The Cosby Show" and rushes to the window. IRK freaks out and falls down into the bushes. GIR blinks his metal blue eyes, staring out the window in disbelief. Then he just runs back to the floor and starts to break dance. IRK comes out of the bushes, unaffected and flew out of the suburb. 


End file.
